A Weekend In The City

So, I thought I'd begin by cataloging my weekend in New York. It started out interestingly enough; I was sick with the flu for the latter half of the week (still sick, mostly), so I was pretty stressed from missing class and work when I went to the airport; I must have looked okay though, because about 5 minutes after I stood in like 3 girls ran up to me and exclaimed how much they love me, that I'm amazing and that they love my work and want my autograph. Kind of in shock, I just told them that I wasn't who they thought I was and that I was sorry, and they embarrassedly ran off. It ends up that my mom's flight got super delayed, so when I got to New York I took a cab by myself to the hotel, which put me in an interesting mood for the night. Anything annual really interests me; things that happen every year allow oneself to apply a marker to one's life and see how things have changed in a certain period of time. During the 40-minute cab ride I remembered every cab ride I've taken from La Guardia to the city every year when I go, from 3 years ago when I had From A Second Story Window playing in my iPod and my mind racing because of problems with my band, to this year, when I was appropriately by myself, looking at the lights and thinking about time.
Around this time, my mom called me again to tell me that her flight might be cancelled. Before I had the chance to think about the implications of being alone in New York City on a Friday night, she called back and let me know that her flight was boarding and that she'd meet me at the hotel in a couple of hours. So, I got some M&M's and relaxed in the room for a few hours, and then we had sushi and I spent most of the night up late reading a subject-specific journal I've been keeping for the last six months or so, still in a weird nostalgic kind of mood.
At any rate, Valentine's Day in New York City was cool, all things considered. You can head on to my facebook if you'd like to see unflattering pictures of me hugging people in panda and Elmo suits. My mom and I saw August: Osage County, which is to date the best play I have ever seen, and I stayed up late again.
The next day I slept in, feeling as sick as ever, and we saw Billy Elliott, which didn't live up to it's hype, and ended up wandering around Chelsea and West Village all evening long, eating at this awesome place called The Spotted Pig which seemed to be full of really important-looking people. I found this great used book store and bought a few things, including a book of Susan Minot's poetry which has been keeping me company the last few nights, it's really really incredible.
As for yesterday, it was in one way or another the worst day I've had in the last 600 or so, but a day that nonetheless I think needed to happen. I'm sorry it needed to happen and it's been replaying in my mind ever since, but mostly I just hope I'm not being overly optimistic about the future. I found out a lot about myself in the brief process, and for now I'm working from there.


I wish I were in the cold with you
in your old dirty house
with your worried eyes and blue
shirt. I wish you knew
the underneath of me,
how I keep track of everything
and try to let everything go.
I wish we'd won that game of Russian roulette
we played that week in the mountains-
or lost,
you would say,
and suffered the happy fate
of other fools who take a risk
and somehow get their way.
- Susan Minot